Little fact about this week:
Like most couples, the moment we chose our egg donor, one of us immediately Googled “AI baby generator” to see what our hypothetical spawn might look like. Guess who? (Hint: he also made a spreadsheet titled ‘embryo budget v4’.)
Our photo:
Psstt…it’s AI. But yes, we know it’s unlikely that this is what our bubba’s going to look like. And no, we didn’t choose just boy photos, but we ran out of free credits LOL. Isn’t the middle one just gorgeous though? LOVE.
The Calm Before the Storm (Sort of)
This week, we wanted to let you in on where we’re actually at. It’s been a long, winding road to this point, but here we are: our surrogate has officially started her embryo transfer prep. And honestly? It feels surreal. Sacred. And a little science-fiction.
Our house is unnervingly quiet right now. Meanwhile, across town, our incredible surrogate has just received the starter pistol: a meticulously calibrated cocktail of hormones aimed at transforming her uterus into the comfiest Airbnb our embryo could hope for.
She’s now on oestrogen (via pills, patches, or the charmingly named “pessaries”) to help thicken the uterine lining. Soon, progesterone will join the party to support that lining and cue the body for a potential pregnancy.
The science is deeply clinical, yes, but it’s also surprisingly human. We’re sending check-in texts like, “How’s the needle today?” and “Is the lining looking lush?” Because somewhere between the meds, bloodwork, and banter… hope is building.
Hormones, Timing, and a Little Bit of Chaos
If it feels like a lot has changed quickly, and well, because it has. In just two weeks, we’ve gone from hopeful limbo to active countdown. I’ll keep this short, but we’re currently on Day 4 of our (by our, I really mean our surrogate) medicated cycle. That’s when the surrogate starts follicle-stimulating injections to get everything prepped for a potential embryo. How do we start counting days? Well, it’s not rocket-science, it’s the 4th day after our surrogate’s natural menstrual cycle’s commenced.
At the same time, oestrogen is maintained over two weeks to help build the uterine lining. Cue the blood tests and ultrasounds every few days to check that things are progressing. When everything looks promising, progesterone is added, and then comes the next milestone: the trigger shot.
This shot (usually hCG or a GnRH agonist) signals to the body, “It’s go time!” and it also gives the lab the green light to begin embryo creation.
About five days after the trigger, when the embryo has reached the blastocyst stage (aka Day 5), we transfer.
That moment, that tiny 10-minute transfer procedure, is when all the science, spreadsheets, and soul-searching come together.
So What’s Actually Happening Inside the Lab?
Let’s break it down. Day 5 embryos (blastocysts) are generally considered more viable. They’re more developed, easier to grade, and give embryologists a better chance to pick the strongest candidate. In other words, this little cluster of cells is putting its best foot forward.
Here’s what’s happening over the next few weeks:
- Our frozen donor eggs (there are 8) and Sam’s sperm (which is also chillin’ like a villain in the freezer) are thawed.
- Eggs are fertilised, and the ones that start to divide and grow are monitored.
- By Day 5 or 6, embryos that reach blastocyst stage are ready for transfer.
But here’s the catch: not all eggs make it. In fact, roughly 40–50% of thawed eggs don’t survive the process. And only about 40% of the fertilised ones make it to Day 5 blastocysts. With only 8 eggs purchased (yep, about $35k AUD’s worth and realistically all we could afford), you probably realise the math is sobering.
One golden egg. One shot. One embryo per transfer. That’s the policy at IVF Australia and it’s a responsible one. Unlike some overseas clinics that transfer two or even three embryos, this single-embryo approach reduces risks for our surrogate and improves the chance of a healthy pregnancy. We’re here to build a family, not gamble.
Transfer Day Is Quick, Tender, and Packed with Emotion
Assuming all goes well, our embryo transfer will be a simple 10-minute procedure, done under ultrasound. It’s fast, but no joke, will be emotionally loaded.
It’s not dramatic or high-tech like the movies. Our surrogate will lie down. A catheter will be gently guided in. And in goes the embryo. Just like that.
Amazingly, IVF Australia basically grow these embryos in a solution that also contains some sort of binding element. I’ll pretend that I’ve listened comprehensively to what the fertility nurse was saying, but in layman’s terms – those little follicles we’ve been growing? They choose the best one under ultrasound (I’d assume the longest tentacle-y one) and then transfer our sticky embryo into that spot. If any IVF Australia staff are reading this (they’re now aware of our blog), then I apologise (lol).
Anyway, from there, progesterone continues. And we all enter “The Zone.”
We wait 10–12 days post-transfer for pregnancy confirmation. We distract ourselves with work, random cleaning projects, and sending each other memes to avoid spiralling. Our surrogate continues her meds. We all collectively hold our breath.
Why All the Fuss About Day 5?
Because science. And stats. Day 5 embryos are more robust. They’ve already survived five days of growth and cellular division, which makes them more likely to implant and grow into a viable pregnancy.
They’re also easier to assess. Embryologists can give them a “grade,” helping choose the best possible embryo. It’s kind of like the Olympics, but the athletes were microscopic and frozen.
And for us? With so few eggs and a lot riding on each one, every small edge matters. We want the odds stacked in our favour.
Side note: I do find it fascinating that in situations, including ours, where we might have more than one embryo to transfer, and they’ve chosen the best one for this surrogacy – well, if we wanted to unfreeze and use the others later…does that mean they’re not as good? Imagine trying to explain that to them when they’re older! “Uhh yeah, you came second because…well you won Silver instead of Gold”.
Emotionally… Where Are We At?
Truthfully? All over the place and we’re all at different places. This includes our surrogate, our surrogate’s wife, Sam, and I. Excited, terrified, cautiously hopeful. Anxious, nervous, and slightly apprehensive at what’s yet to come. Thoroughly now thrown into the “oh dang, our lives are going to change for the next 10 months.”
Our surrogates have been through this before and have been nothing short of amazing. One is carrying the physical weight, and the other is her wife and somewhat of our rational and emotional anchor. Speaking for myself, I’m honestly constantly impressed by our surrogate’s emotional and mental positivity in ‘manifesting’ our future. I think without it, the other three of us probably wouldn’t be here – well not probably, we just wouldn’t be here.
In other ways, three out of four of us are clinicians in some capacity, which comes with its own baggage. We’ve seen things go wrong in hospital settings. We’ve seen worst-case scenarios in the community. We’ve seen broken families in amongst all the good ones. That history doesn’t go away… but neither does our hope.
There’s a surreal vulnerability in knowing you’re just weeks away from possibly becoming parents. We’re stretching our emotional buckets, reminding ourselves that this is what love in action looks like. And we’re trusting, very deeply, in the process.
Final Countdown
So here we are.
The uterus is being primed. The embryo will hopefully soon be ready. The hormones are doing their quiet, powerful work behind the scenes. We’ve waited three years for this next step, and now it’s just around the corner.
If you’re reading this, thank you. For coming along. For cheering us on. For crossing your fingers, toes, and everything else. We see it. We feel it. Our weekly posts should hopefully keep you updated on our progress.
But soon, maybe, we’ll be writing a very different kind of post.
Also, we haven’t yet introduced you to our surrogate, or her wife. But for those of you who know us, you probably already know who they are. Either way, we’ll do an intro post on them soon 😀
Signing off and holding on:
Let the hormones do their work, and the heart do its soaring.
Love,
Gary & Sam 🧬🩺📅
Two dads and a dream 
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