Two dads and a dream

No “fact of the week” this time; just a quick check-in from us. It’s been a few weeks since we last posted, and we wanted to share where things are at.

After our first embryo transfer didn’t work out, we tried to take some time to pause. To rest. To get our heads back in the right space. It’s one thing to know that IVF doesn’t always work the first time, but it’s another thing to actually live through it. The wait, the build-up, the result, and then the quiet that follows. So we gave ourselves permission to just… stop for a bit.

Or, at least we tried to. Life, as it tends to do, had other plans. Between unexpected work demands, family commitments, and the general chaos that seems to sneak in when you least need it, true stillness never really arrived. We didn’t get that neat pause we imagined, the kind with tea, long walks, and reflective clarity. Instead, it’s been a gradual kind of processing, threaded between meetings, errands, and text messages that start with “We really need to talk about what’s next.”

Still, even in passing, those conversations have started. Sam and I have spoken, sometimes briefly and sometimes in more depth, about where we go from here. We’ve chatted with our surrogate and her wife too, and while nothing is firmly decided yet, we’re leaning toward giving it another go.

That decision isn’t as simple as it sounds. IVF is a long game, full of logistics and emotional arithmetic. Each step, from donor eggs and medications to syncing schedules across two households and clinics, takes time, planning, and energy. And then there’s the financial side, which is, well, not small. Before we move forward, we want to make sure we’re ready emotionally, financially, and practically. We’ve learned the value of pacing ourselves. Hope works better when it’s supported by a plan.

In the meantime, this blog will keep ticking along, just at a slower rhythm. We’ll move from weekly posts to fortnightly/monthly ones for now, giving ourselves space to breathe and also space to bring a bit more depth to each story we tell. We’ll still share the realities of IVF, surrogacy in Australia, and all the science and emotion that come with trying to build a family this way. There’s so much about this process that people don’t often talk about, like the small details, the waiting, and the hope that renews itself even when it gets knocked down.

If there’s anything you’ve been curious about, whether it’s how egg donation actually works, what the process looks like for intended parents in Australia, or how we’ve navigated the emotional ups and downs so far, please reach out. We’d love to make this space useful, not just as a personal journal but as a reference point for others on similar paths. We’ve realised that sharing our story has helped us too. It turns the waiting into connection and the unknown into something that feels just a little less isolating.

We’re still hopeful. Still planning. Still dreaming. The path might take longer than we thought, but it’s ours, and we’re walking it together. Step by step, day by day, conversation by conversation.

Gary & Sam 💭✨❤️